Monday, 29 March 2010

Ban this offensive beer name!

According to the Sun, and confirmed by Austrian broadcaster ORF, a Berlin entrepreneur is planning to market a beer to be called Fucking Hell, named after the Austrian village Fucking. Hell, of course, just means pale and is a popular style of lager in Bavaria. Stefan Fellenberg has just won a trademark dispute with the EU, which at first rejected the name because the name of the village is spelt the same as a word in English that is too rude to post on the internet.

This name is deeply offensive. Why? Because there is no brewery in Fucking — it is a tiny hamlet with only 90 inhabitants — and hence Mr Fellenberg's Fucking beer looks set to be contract-brewed somewhere else. There is a real danger that consumers will be misled into thinking the Fucking beer is made by Fucking brewers when it isn't.

I do like a glass of Hell, but I feel strongly that a Fucking beer should be made in a Fucking brewery. No ifs or buts. What happened to provenance? Authenticity? Bier braucht Heimat, as they say in Germany.

13 comments:

  1. Good thing the muff diving club already exists
    http://www.muffdivingclub.ie/

    Bastardstown County Wexford should have a brewery.

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  2. When I order a Fucking beer I expect to get a Fucking beer, not some Fucking substitute.

    Time the Fucking council did something about this.

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  3. I liked the Sun referencing the local guest house called wank. Fabulous.

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  4. I've heard that Aass Brewery is interested in the contract...

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  5. Somebody on Twitter reminded me that there's a place (on Orkney?) called Twatt, but I also love the weirdness of the name of a famous sausage-maker (fnar fnar already!) - "Muff's"!

    They've even got the website http://www.muffsonline.co.uk/
    but I bet they get bored with all the pervy or puerile comments.

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  6. I put the questions about where the beer is going to be brewed to Mr Fellenberg, and his PR person told me they were not going to release any information until nearer the beer's launch, putatively in autumn.

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  7. Man! We were just talking about something like this today with a couple of friends. My business idea has been stolen!!! (or sort of, someone should set up a brewery in Fucking)

    One of them mentioned that at the German-Austrian border there's a place called Wank, a beer called in German would be Wanker Bier. It would clean up

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  8. I completely disagree with your assertion that the name is offensive, excuse me, "deeply offensive," just because there's no Fucking Brewery. So, what? Is it silly? Sure. Stupid, even? Probably. But offensive? Come on, there are way too many things to get offended over, but this is not one 'em by a long shot. While I'm no stranger to getting worked up over things, this seems way too trivial to matter.

    As soon as I heard about this I assumed it was going to be contract brewed. As long as he's giving the town a piece of the action, I say great, why not. They've endured the ugly American (and other English-speaking) insults for long enough, why shouldn't they profit?

    This reminds me a little bit of America's Native Americans who through a loophole in federal law have been making money putting casinos on tribal land. People here are very upset about it have even tried to get them to pay taxes on their earnings (which they're not legally bound to pay). It's absurd. After the way the early American government treated them, they should laugh all the way to the bank. Same deal in Fucking.

    Not all contract beer is bad, and not all "authentic" (whatever that really means) is good. I thought we'd moved past that black and white shite. Does anyone really believe that people will buy Fucking Hell expecting it to be brewed there and that they'd for one second get upset when they discovered it wasn't? Of course not. The person who'll buy this beer will do so because they think it's funny, they probably won't care at all what it even tastes like. The person that buys this beer is the same sort who'd by a tuxedo t-shirt, fake dog poop or a whoopee cushion. Or Three Stooges Beer or Wanker Beer.

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  9. Nobody's mentioned the former Canadian brewery Kuntz yet - so I will …

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  10. West End in South Australia, brought out a Duff about 20 years ago, It lasted a month before the courts got rid of it....it sell now for up to $10000 a full carton, $2000 per 6 pack

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  11. I think someone in Mexico and/or Brazil is currently doing a Duff, too. I just saw something about it on TV recently.

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  12. Yeah, and they've licensed (if that's the word) it to a Belgian brewery as well. I have a review here.

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