As I mentioned before, it's become unfashionable among brewers to give beers names which give drinkers a chance of figuring out what they taste like.
But I have hit upon a cunning strategy to thwart their nefarious naming schemes.
At the last beer festival I attended, the same numbers kept appearing over and over again: 3.2%, 3.8%, 4.2%. I realised that these are the secret style indicators.
3.2% is usually a dark, refreshing mild.
3.8% can range from very pale to brown and will be intensely bitter if you're lucky.
4.2% is generally a horrible overly sweet mid-brown mess full of toffee.
There's something to be said for second-rate micros all making the same three beers after all.